Dib gets proof! But does he really want it?
by I-am-Italia
Summary: Zim is exploding, Gir is playing video games, Minimose has a random camera, Gaz is beating up Dib, Dib is being beaten up by Gaz, Membrane is crazy with anger, and theres a random voice speaking to Dib in his room. LAST CHAPTER!
1. GIRNAPPED!

DIB GETS PROOF! or does he?

chapter 1

Me playing paddle ball. Gir eating popcorn with a mound of butter on it. Minimoose doing... WHATEVER THAT IS!

(minimoose is standing on his head squeeking crazily)

Typical day, right?

... (dot dot dot)

WRONG!

Outside, Dib was sneaking around again. That probably isnt what normal people do on their free time, but who am I to judge? Dib rang the doorbell. Everything went silent.

"Im selling pizza!" he remarked.

"Yeah, like we're going to fall for that..." i growled.

"PIZZA!" Gir ran to the door.

"GIR!"

"Yeeeeesss"

"save me a slice."

"Okey dokey." Gir opened the door only to find Dib there carrying a sack.

"HEY BIGHEAD! CANISEEWUTCHAGOTINDESACK! Is it mah pizza?"

"Yeah. Hop inside and take a look." And stupid Gir jumped into the sack and Dib dragged him away. (i know... Dib is ooc right now, but he will be acting more like himself later.

20 minutes later:

Something is missing... i thought to myself... something important...

"GIR! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PIZZA?"

no answer.

"GIR!"

no answer.

"GIRRRRR! ... wait a second... ... ... I DONT EVEN LIKE PIZZA!" I looked around a little bit and I started wondering where he could be , so I set Minimoose out to look for him.

"Minimoose!"

"NYA!"

"Go out and look for Gir!"

"Nyaa." And Minimoose went out the door to look for the MISSING GIR!


	2. The virus

DIB GETS PROOF! … or does he?

Chapter 2

With Minimoose and Gir gone, I had decided that I needed to upgrade my pak in order to find out what was going on in the Irken empire. So I went down to the lab and get that done.

"COMPUTER!"

"WHAAAAAT?"

"Upgrade my pak."

"Okay, but I need to tell you something before..."

"JUST DO IT! I AM YOUR MASTER AND I DONT PAY YOU TO ORDER ME!"

"You dont pay me at all..."

"YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!"

"But there's just one.."

"SILENCE! CANT IT WAIT?"

"um... not reall-"

"Good. then let the download begin."

"Okay, but dont say i didnt wa-"

"START THE DOWNLOAD!"

"Geez. okay."

The useless computer attached its wire to my pack and began downloading. Good. Conquering... yadayadayada... blah blah blah... folk dancing... the talle- FOLK DANCING? I got a shock of energy.

"OOOOWWW! what the heck was that?"

"I tried to tell you that there is a virus in my system and now it has been downloaded into your pak."

"What will it do to me?"

"I dont know, it could make you spazz, lose your memory, act wierd, do... um... what are you doing?"

"um... dancing?" I had just started dancing very randomly.

"Uh-huh... i see. The computer virus is making you dance?"

"No... i just enjoy dancing." i said sarcastically.

"OOOOOHHHHH." The computer understood. "then you might enjoy these maracas I got you." or so i thought...


	3. Minimoose the Rescuer

DIB GETS PROOF! but does he really want it?

Chapter 3

With Minimoose:

Floating, floating, floating, looking at colorful hats, floating, floating, and Minimoose finally got to the FILTHY earth Dibs house. His nubs had detected Gir. So, as he approached the house, he looked around a little. His nubs had also detected another earth specimen. And then, all of a sudden, Dib shot out of a bush and netted Minimoose.

At Dibs house:

Gaz watching TV.

Bats were eating the cows on TV. yknow. Same stuff.

Dib BURST THROUGH THE DOOR! And picked up the sack with Gir in it and Minimoose in the net.

"GAZ! I FINALLY HAVE PROOF OF MY PARANORMAL INGENIOUS! I went to Zims house with one of those-"

"Shh. Dib. They said they were going to put up some cheat codes on after this special."

"BUT I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL THIS TO!"

"SHHH."

"Yknow what? Im gonna tell you anyway."

"Ergh."

"I just went to Zims house and i got some proof of my paranormal ingenious and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...etc"

While Dib was acting all stupid, Gir found a hole in the sack and widened it so he could sqeeze his body out. Then he started going up the stairs. This was a new place and he was curious to see what things he could mess up that he didnt ALREADY DO TO ME! He found Dibs room first. heh heh heh...

Then, Minimoose was struggling a little bit, so he decided he had enough of this and shot lasers from his eyes to make a hole in the net he was captured in. He activated his Gir locators and went upstairs.

In Dibs room:

"HEY! LOOKY HERE MOOSEY! IM TYPING!" Gir was on Dibs computer deleting all of Dibs work and typing in his own "personalized touch"

ajfskl;;zimisawesomeajf;j;

"IM SO GOOD AT THIS!"

jdflsak;obeythefistjfdkalj;f

Minimoose floated and clung to Girs head.

A metalic voice said: "Gir located"

Minimoose just stayed there. now that he had located Gir, he thought his mission was over. Oh the things that happen when I am not around...


	4. The details of the virus

Dib gets proof!

Chapter 4

In the lab...

"AUGH! THIS IS HORRIBLE!" I started moaning. My arms were starting to hurt since they continued to flail around. "COMPUTER!"

"WHAAAAAAAT?"

"Identify the virus and figure out a way to stop it." The computer stuck a wire into my pak and made some computer beepingish noises.

"The virus cannot be stopped unless it is downloaded and held in another machine."

I didnt flinch, that is untill I had heard the next part...

"What will happen if it isnt downloaded into something else?"

More beeping noises.

"I dont really know if you are going to like this..."

"TELL ME! I CAN HANDLE IT!"

"Gulp... um... If the virus remains inside of your pak, all of the information inside of it will pile up.. and ... make... you..."

I started worrying...

COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Dramatic pauses... I know that audiences eat this stuff up...

OHHHH SCARY! WHAT WILL THE COMPUTER SAY NEXT!

FBI comes into the room

FINISH THE SENTANCE! they say. And they start to hit my head.

OKAY! FINE!

END OF COMMERCIAL BREAK!

"AND... MAKE ... YOU... EXPLODE!"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed. I started to run around in random circles and then the computers claw slapped me in the face. And let me tell you. A giant metal hand DOES NOT feel the same way as a normal human hand when it slaps you across the face...

"GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF MASTER!"

I got up off of the floor in which I was smacked down to and got the idea to strangle the computer... only one problem... COMPUTERS DONT HAVE NECKS! And then I got back to the real issue.

"Computer. Is it possible that Gir can hold the virus?"

"Yes."

"And how much time do I have untill the explosion?"

"about... lets say... 20 minutes."

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" I screamed again.

"Thats not all."

"Whu?"

"If I am correct, then there should be a few more affects of the virus. I can tell you what will happen up untill the explosion."

"Well, dont just stand there! Spit it out!"

"Um... Im not standing. Anyhow, in order, you will dance, spazz, have the affect of short term memory loss, sing, speak in different languages and ... a couple more..."

"Then there isnt much time to spare! I have to get to Gir before the short term memory loss, or I will forget about what I am doing!" Thats when all of a sudden I stopped dancing.

"Hey! Look! Ive stopped dancing!" And then, almost immediatly, my arms started spazzing out, so I know that I needed to hurry... OR ELSE.


	5. Randomness

Dib gets proof! … but does he really want it?

Chapter 5

Minimoose just basically stayed there. So did Gir. They werent getting up anytime soon... that is untill Gir pressed a flashing red button that said DO NOT TOUCH! in giant red letters.

"OOOOHHH PRETTY!" Gir said as his little robot finger touched it. The floor started to rumble. It opened up a giant ditch in the ground which held a rocket. Then the rocket just flew through the roof breaking everything and leaving chunks of wall all over the ground.

"AAAAHHH!"

"NYAAAA!"

"AHHHHH!"

"NYAAAA"

AHHH!

NYA!

AH!

nya.

ah... um. yeah...

Meanwhile:

(RUMBLING)

"WOAH! GAZ! DID YOU FEEL THAT?"

"SHHH!"

"DID YOU FEEL THAT RUMBLE? IT WAS JUST LIKE THE ROCKET I MADE JUST EXPLO-"

"So, how do you like your head. On or off?"

"On or off what?"

"your body." Gaz turned to look at Dib, but the little coward had already run away.

In Dibs room:

"Hey. Moosey."

"Nya."

"ahm hungray."

"Nya."

And they rocketed out of the roof to get their hot dogs.

2 seconds later:

(Dib bursts through the door)

"NYAUGH! MY COMPUTER! MY PAPERS! MY ROOF! AAAAHHHHH!"

Meanwhile:

My arms continued to spazz out. I had started to walk to Dibs house because that is where my Minimoose locator had found Minimoose. And then I just stopped.

"huh? what am i doing out here? ... OH I REMEMBER!" (slight pause) (confused look) "huh? what am i doing out here? ... OH I REMEMBER!" (continues to repeat for a very long time)

End of chapter:

Sorry Gazmrules. my roboparents are limiting my time on the computer and I also run out of stuff to say. SO! UNTILL NEXT TIME! DIB GETS PROOF! but does he really want it? WILL RETURN! HOPEFULLY SOON! I GUESS! I HAVE TO TAKE THE CAPS LOCK OFF NOW... (end of transmition)


	6. FOOD FIGHT!

Dib Gets PROOF!... but does he really want it?

Chapter 6

I stopped in the road. And then, I finally got my memory back.

"HEY! I GOT MY MEMORY BACK!" i said in some wierd human pitch.

Gir: y'mean singin?

huh? GET OUT! GET OUT GET OUT GET OOOOUUUUUTTTT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO INTERFERE 2 STORIES AGO!

Gir: okay.

Back to the story i suppose...

"It just never ends." I sang some more just as I passed a strictly NO SINGING sign. (That I didnt notice at the time)

"TO DIBS HOUSE!"

A cop walked up to me.

"e-HEM!" He pointed at the sign and slapped a ticket onto my forhead over my eye.

"Now, green, ugly, short, citizen, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"SSOOOOOORREEEEEEE! LAW ENFORCEMENT HYUUUUUUUUMAN!"

He frowned at me and wrote another ticket and stuck that over my other eye.

"Some people never learn..." He said.

Meanwhile:

Gir and Minimoose were still out and Dib stared at his room with HORROR!

"What in the world happened..." he paused and thought for a second. "ZIM! I bet this is all ZIMS FAULT!"

And just as he said that, guess who landed through the roof eating a hot dog with extra ketchup and mustard and hot fudge and sprinkles?

Gir and Minimoose looked up to find a bigheaded boy staring at them. Gir dropped his hot dog on the carpet.

"NYAUGH! MY CARPET!" Dib screamed as he saw the fudge stain his 2 dollar carpet. (hey! times were tough!)

"Aw. Dont be sad! I know what'll cheer you up!" Gir opened his belly thing and took out a Ketchup squeeze bottle and threw a Mustard one to Minimoose.

"FOOD FIGHT!"

"ACK!" And then Dib fainted to the floor as Gir and Minimoose "redecorated".

"oops. oh well. I WANNA SEE THE BATHROOM!"

2 seconds later:

Another hole in the roof with a water spout coming through.

Gir and Minimoose looked at the fountain with awe.

Dib woke up to the sound of splashing water and he had a Ketchup mustache and a Mustard beard. He shook it off and ran into the bathroom.

"AHH! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET OUT!" Dib ran towards Gir.

"OOO! TAG! EEEHEEEHEEE!" And Dib chased Gir all around the house that is, untill Gir ran into Gazs room. That teretory was off limits.

Gir walked inside Gazs room.

"OHHH! Pretty stuffs!" He said as he ran to the video games, pizza, stuffed toys, and all stuff that were of to his interest.

And thats when Dib called the EYEBALLS! well, not actual eyeballs, yknow, his secret society... um... yeah... that would be kinda wierd if he actually called eyeballs to the rescue... That would actually be pretty funny... Ehem... heh heh heh... eyeballs. SUPER EYEBALLS! TO THE RESCUE! NYAAAAAAUGH! ehem... yeah. thats the chapter...FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT TIME ON THIS STORY! THE ONE THAT I AM WRITING NOW! SEND ME STORYLINES! CAUSE I NEED THEM! VERY BADLY! HELP! AND NOW I SHALL TAKE THIS OFF CAPS LOCK! (click) okay see you pitiful humans later and dont forget to leave a comment for your good friend and future slavemaster, ZIM!


	7. What language is that?

Dib gets PROOF! …but does he really want it?

Chapter 7

"Hello? Agent Dark Booty?"

"Yes. Agent Dark Booty here."

"OH THANK GOODNESS! I HAVE A ROBOT AND A FLOATING MOOSE ON A RAMPAGE IN MY HOUSE! WITH THE FOODFIGHT AND THE ALIENS! AND THE HOT FUDGE AND SPRINKLES! AND THE-"

(hang-up noises)

"UGH! I guess I'll have to get rid of them myself. Dad will be home within the next 10 minutes for our yearly dinner, so I have to work fast. Im... talking outloud to myself... again... oh well. AFTER THEM!"

He looked at his watch: 5:50

"PERFECT! TEN MINUTES EXACTLY!"

Meanwhile:

I looked at my watch: 134:49 (irken military time)

"NOT PERFECT! ONLY 10 MINUTES UNTILL THE EXPLOSION! ... and since when did I start wearing a watch?" I had started speaking in a language that not even my MASTERFUL mind could comprehend. Is masterful a word? oh well... I ran to Dibs house and banged on his door with my fists untill it broke down. Dib needed to fix more than he was cut out to. STINKS FOR HIM!

"ZIM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE? Youre not here to pick up your robot and moose, are you, because the FBI will be here any minute! Or... so they said they would..."

"Yeah... um... can I just take my minions and go?" I said.

"huh? what did you say? are you talking in some wierd alien language? or is that Italian?"

"ERG!"

Meanwhile:

Gir and Minimose were rolling around in all of Gazs stuff.

WEE HEE HEE! DO THAT AGAIN!

yknow. wierdo robot stuff.

Meanwhile:

Gaz was still watching TV while Dib and I were still trying to figure out what language I was speaking in.

"Im all out of snacks." She said. She went up to her room where her secret stash was, opened the door, and guess who she found playing Super Smash Brothers?

"HEY!"

"Get out."

"Okay dokey."

Gir slowly got up and started trotting to the door when Gaz picked him up and threw him out the window. She did the same with Minimoose and threw an anvil on his head so that he would fall as well. She growled for a moment.

"DIIIIIIIIB!"

Meanwhile:

The computer had found out what would happen after I spoke a different language and sent a signal to my pak. It said that I would be magnetic, cough and THEN explode. I had to hurry. There was only 2 fases left!

At Dibs:

"What is that language? It seems to have a bit of swiss and whats this? Irish? um... little spanish... um OH I KNOW WHAT THE LANGUAGE IS! IT IS-"

Gazs scream to him startled him. He knew that he had to leave immediatly, so he did.

"Ive got to go now... we will finish this later!"

"Em... okay." And then a can came out of nowhere and hit my head and my speaking returned to normal.

"Aw nuts."


	8. The Explosion

Dib gets proof! … but does he really want it?

Chapter 8

Okay. It was pretty funny to see Dib get beaten up by his sister. What wasnt funny was that I had suddenly become magnetic and I was dragging a garbage can around that was attached to my head.

Dib had gone upstairs to see what Gaz needed.

And then, she just started beating him up.

"What are you-hey OW! I just want to see whats-urg! COUGH! COUGH! ORGANS EXPLODING!"

"Yep. Thats good for now."

"But Gaz! I didnt even do anything this time!"

"What about these pictures?" Gaz held up some pictures of Gir and Minimooose partying in her room, waving at the camera, and playing her GS2.

"You better get out. NOW."

"OKAY! AAAAHHHH! YOURE EVEN SCARIER THAN GIRLOVESMOOSEY WHOS ACTUALLY A NINJA WHO THREATENED ME WITH MASHED POTATOES!" Dib ran out.

I had become not magnetic anymore, and grabbed Gir and Minimoose and stepped on the garbage can and rolled to my base. We fell down the toilet and I started to cough wildly.

"AHHH! THE FINAL STAGE!" The computer clicked a wire into my Pak and started a countdown. (that horrible machine.)

10 seconds untill explosion.

it clicked a wire into Gir.

9 seconds

sweat

8 seconds

minimoose with ready camera for when i explode

7 seconds

gir eats a taco.

6 seconds

uh... still waiting...

5 seconds

gir is really loving that taco.

4 seconds

what is taking the computer so long?

3 seconds

a random ninja with a bazooka looks into the camera "HI MOM!"

2 seconds

that was random

1 second

more sweat here it comes... UGH! AHHH! COME ON! COMPUTER! BEFORE I EXPLODE!

COMERCIAL BREAK!

(in the base: Me, Gir, and a giant monster that sorta looks like a scribble.)

Me: Hey Gir. I was wondering. Did you eat all of the pluetonium nitrat again?

(looks up at monster)

Me:AHHH! WHAT IS THAT THING?

Gir: I dunno... BUT I MADE IT MYSELF!

Me:(gets eaten by thing)

Gir: Mastah? MAAAASTAH! WHERE ARE YOOOO? Oh well... I WANNA TACO!

Goes out and eats Tacos with the monster.

The End.

NOW BACK!

Okay. So, I was all ready to explode.

And I have to admit. It actually did start. Yknow a little bit.

Gir: YOU BROKE THE CIELING!

SILENCE!

So then, just as I was about to explode, the computer said

"Download into Gir complete."

"Oh. man. THAT WAS CLOSE."

"Yeah." Gir chimed in.

and then, out of nowhere, Gir just randomly exploded.

Then his head was on the floor. Yknow smiling.

"WOO HOO! DO THAT AGAIN!" He said.

Youre probably wondering what happened to Dib, well, LET ME TELL YOU! He got beat up by his sister, his dad came home and saw the house and grounded him for... um... Forever. Then, since his dad had already gone with Gaz to Bloatys, he ran to my house where he got shot with some lasers from my lawn Knomes. And then he went home and fell asleep and said to himself:

"Well, its not the worst day I've had. There was that time where I was turned into bologna. Oh well. Good night whoever will listen... WHY DO I ALWAYS TALK OUTLOUD TO MYSELF!"

"Good night, Dib" Said a random voice.

"What? WHO SAID THAT?"

"I did."

"Oh... Okay." And then Dib fell asleep.

THE END!


End file.
